There is now much greater awareness of the existence of diverse sexual orientations than there was years ago. Tolerance of this reality has been taking precedence over traditional heterocentrism. In the past, there was a widespread assumption that the majority of the population had a heterosexual orientation, so that anything outside the norm (homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals…) was labeled as pathological. Although fortunately this thinking has changed for a large part of the Western population, there is still one orientation that we could qualify as the great unknown: asexuality.
Although some have tried to label asexuality as a disease, it has recently begun to be widely researched and labeled as a sexual orientation. Asexual people lack a sex drive, although they may experience romantic attraction to other people.. Many asexual people are somewhat compelled to maintain relationships despite a lack of desire. This is because many wish to have children or simply want to satisfy their non-asexual partner.
Asexuality in itself is not a problem. However, the rejection and ignorance of others can generate additional suffering in the person. In fact, many asexual people take years to discover their sexual orientation, as this possibility is never discussed. All of this can seriously impact a person’s psychological well-being and relationships.
If you have never heard about this issue and want to know about it, you are in the right place. In this article we will try to to find out what asexuality is, what characteristics can be observed in someone with this type of sexual orientation and the existing types of asexuality. existing ones.
What is asexuality?
Asexuality is a type of sexual orientation in which the person lacks sexual desire towards other people.. The person may be romantically, intellectually or emotionally attracted to others, but has no desire to have sexual relations with them. Asexual persons do not have relationships with other people as a rule.
However, they can masturbate, especially men. However, masturbation is not experienced in the same way as in sexual persons, since it does not respond to a specific stimulus. Rather, it is experienced as a physiological need that must be satisfied with a certain frequency. Since it is a sexual orientation, asexuality usually remains throughout a person’s life. However, we will later review the different types and see how there are certain nuances depending on each individual.
Due to the lack of information about asexuality and the stigma surrounding this condition, it is common for it to go unrecognized for some time. For this reason, it is important to know the signs that may indicate that a person is asexual in order to provide understanding and support. and avoid unnecessary suffering due to external factors (misunderstanding, feeling judged, having one’s sexual orientation questioned, being considered as suffering from an illness that needs to be treated, etc.).
The most common signs associated with asexuality are the following:
- Absence of sexual attraction.
- Not experiencing desire for sexual contact even after time of abstinence.
- Living relationships from the pressure or duty and not from desire and enjoyment.
- Having doubts about sexual orientation, since the person does not feel desire for other people and perceives that he/she does not fit in the established social schemes.
- Perceive an emotional connection that is not proportional to the physical / sexual desire.
It should be noted that there is an important difference between asexuality and celibacy.. In the first case the person does not maintain relationships because he/she does not feel the desire to do so. However, in the second case there is desire, but for different reasons (for example, religion), the person must make an effort to repress it in order to remain celibate.
What are the relationships of an asexual person like?
The fact that a person is asexual and, therefore, does not feel sexual desire, raises many questions about relationships and the possibility of having a normal sentimental life. As we mentioned earlier, asexual people have no sex drive, although they may feel emotional and romantic attraction.. This implies that, of course, they can fall in love and establish sentimental bonds with other people.
On the other hand, although they do not feel sexual desire towards other people, within the framework of the couple they can establish certain agreements that satisfy both parties. That is to say, to determine a frequency in the relations that adjusts to the needs and desires of both in a balanced way. In this sense, and as in any couple relationship, there must be an open and fluid communication, so that the asexual member feels respected by the other.
What kinds of asexuality are there?
Although we have been talking about asexuality in general terms, the truth is that each person lives and manages his or her absence of sexual desire in a different way. There is no consensus on the classification of the existing types, although here are the most frequent ones:
1. Arromantic asexuals
Asexuals of this type do not experience sexual desire nor do they feel the need to maintain romantic relationships with others.. Generally, they do not show any disposition to show sentimental interest in someone specific. Arromantic asexuals are often assumed to be cold, unfeeling or incapable of relating to others. However, this is not the case at all. An arromantic asexual can maintain social relationships with other people, they just do not wish to maintain intimate partner bonds.
2. Romantic asexuals
They are those who, in spite of lacking sexual desire, wish to maintain partner relationships.. This type of orientation indicates that, in effect, love and desire can occur separately. Unlike the commonly held idea of romantic love, feelings for another person do not necessarily imply sexual attraction. Romantic asexuals can, in turn, comprise four distinct types:
This type of asexual feels attracted to establish sentimental relationships with people of the opposite sex.
Homoromantics are asexuals with a preference for same-sex relationships.
This type refers to asexuals who experience equal attraction to both sexes.
The attraction in This type of asexuality does not depend on the sex or gender of the other person.The attraction in this type of asexuality does not depend on the sex or gender of the other person, they simply experience feelings towards another individual, without further conditioning. In addition to the types of asexuality we have discussed, there are also some sexual orientations that have certain similarities with asexuality.
DemisexualityDemisexuality: This type of orientation consists in that the person feels sexual attraction only when he/she experiences romantic feelings towards the other person. That is, sexual attraction is a by-product of a more primary feeling. Therefore, if there is no such sentimental attachment, the person cannot feel desire.
Gray-asexualityThis type of orientation is somewhat peculiar, since it is not a stable state but an oscillating one. The gray-asexual person is in a continuous back and forth between asexuality and sexuality. Therefore, it is common to alternate periods in which the person experiences a desire to have sexual relations with others in which this desire disappears.
In this article we have delved into a little known aspect: asexuality. Society has taken important steps in favor of the LGBT community.. However, there is still much to be done on issues related to equality and the rights of non-heterosexual people. Especially, in this article we wanted to focus on one of the most forgotten orientations: asexuality.
Asexuality has received little research attention until only a few years ago, and now relevant questions about this sexual orientation are beginning to be clarified. Asexual people encounter a great deal of misinformation, which leads to a great deal of confusion and uncertainty.
Having a non-normative sexual orientation is often not easy, but the stigma surrounding asexual people is often particularly devastating.. At many times, the person experiences suffering not so much because of his or her sexual condition per se, but because of the external pressures he or she receives from the environment. Many asexuals who have established romantic relationships have seen how their lack of desire has cost them the breakup and the inability to establish stable relationships.
On the other hand, there are still archaic beliefs related to asexuality. It has come to be considered by some as a disease, although, as we have said, this alternative has been discarded in recent years. Asexuals often encounter the incomprehension of others, since for sexual people the absence of desire is inconceivable. They also have to tolerate comments that make them understand that, perhaps, their “defect” can be treated or reversed in some way.
In this article we want to express a very different point of view. Instead of putting the problem on the person, we believe that psychoeducation is crucial. psychoeducation of the population on this type of issues is crucial.Only in this way can these issues be understood and respected. This article is an attempt to contribute to this end.