Self-esteem, loving ourselves, valuing ourselves, self-esteem, self-love and some other related terms are constantly used to talk about our personal well-being and our attitude towards life and others.
But loving ourselves is one of the easiest and most difficult tasks at the same time. One way to start is to understand what self-worth is all about and the 4 types of self-esteem that we can have we can have in order to locate ourselves and embark on our path to self-discovery.
- Related article: “How to improve your self-esteem, in 10 psychological keys”.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is one of the most used and at the same time least understood concepts. When we speak of self-esteem we are talking about the way in which we value ourselves.. It is an attribute that we have innately and that is transformed throughout our lives.
It is the whole set of beliefs, thoughts, perceptions we have of ourselves and, in short, the respect, love, confidence, acceptance, security and satisfaction that each of us has based on self-image or evaluation that we make on all aspects of our life: our way of being, our character and the features of our body.
But our self-esteem is not an attribute that remains the same throughout our lives. rather, it is an attribute that evolves and develops from our relationship with the world and specifically with society.
In any case, self-worth is directly related to our well-being and whether we relate positively or not with our environment, and it feeds precisely from this relationship.
- Related article: “35 ‘body positive’ phrases to love yourself and your body”.
On self-image and self-confidence.
Before continuing with the types of self-esteem, we want to clarify two more concepts that we are going to use, which have to do with self-worth and that can be confused with self-esteem: self-image and self-confidence..
First of all, we would like to explain that self-image is the mental image we have of who we are, what we look like, our weaknesses and strengths, what we do well and what we do not do so well. This mental image is formed from our relationships with other people. and our most relevant experiences and is reflected in the 4 types of self-esteem that exist.
Secondly, I would like to clarify that self-confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing. In reality, self-confidence is related to the security we feel in ourselves to achieve the goals and objectives we set for ourselves. Although it is not the same thing, it is an aspect that contributes to our overall self-image. self-confidence positively helps to build our self-esteem..
The 4 types of self-esteem that exist
Psychology considers that all people can have 4 different types of self-esteem: high, low, stable or unstable self-esteem.. But as we said before, the type of self-esteem we have can vary over time, depending on how it relates to and feeds from the outside.
However, you should know that the foundations of self-esteem and our self-image are built during our childhood. To define the 4 types of self-esteem there are 4 factors that influence our self-esteem:
- Our triumphs and the position we achieve in our environment. from them.
- The areas in which we achieve our triumphs, as long as they are relevant to us.
- The acceptance, interest and attention we receive The acceptance, interest and attention we receive from influential people we consider important in our lives.
- The way we react to negative situations or moments in our lives, i.e., whether we attribute those negative events internally or externally.
Taking into account these 4 factors, we will now explain the different types of self-esteem.
1. High and stable self-esteem
When we have built this form of self-esteem, unlike the other types of self-esteem, the circumstances and situations that happen during life have little influence on our self-image and therefore on our self-esteem.
People with this type of self-esteem accept themselves and therefore we see them acting and being so we see them act and be who they are freely, as they do not feel the need to take care of or defend their image. In addition, they are people who, when faced with different arguments, have no problem in establishing their point of view without being destabilized by the differences.
2. High and unstable self-esteem
People who have a high and unstable self-esteem are people who are satisfied with themselves, who accept are satisfied with themselves, accept themselves and have a good self-image.However, they do not manage to keep their self-esteem constant in life.
In general, they are people who, when faced with difficult and competitive situations, can become completely destabilized. It is difficult for them to accept failure and consider it a threat, so they respond to it with a critical attitude. They do not easily accept other points of view and when faced with a debate they defend their point of view with total conviction and even monopolize the conversation.
What happens when we have these types of self-esteem is that we turn our self-esteem into the center of the conversation. our self-esteem in the center of our concerns and we protect it at all costs. and we protect it at all costs, so we can take aggressive attitudes to promote it or rather passive attitudes to protect it.
3. Low and stable self-esteem
On the contrary to the types of high self-esteem, in this case people underestimate themselves and do not undervalue themselves and do not care about promoting their image.As a result, they are not affected in their self-esteem by the positive or negative life situations they may go through.
They are people who, not having a good self-image, believe that they are not up to the task, so they prefer not to defend their point of view, they are indecisive and are terrified of being wrong.. What happens with these people is that they are pessimistic and are not able to perceive their personal triumphs so they prefer to think that they are the result of chance or luck.
The low and stable type of self-esteem is very typical of people with very characteristic of people with depressive tendencies..
4. Low and unstable self-esteem
This is one of the types of self-esteem most susceptible to life’s fluctuations. People with low and unstable self-esteem are those who are very sensitive and are very sensitive to and influenced by the negative or positive situations they encounter on their they encounter along the way.
In this sense, any event, no matter how small, can destabilize their self-esteem because their foundations are not solid. Even with events that affect them positively, such as success, they can have an important self-esteem high, but the moment the euphoria ends, so does their self-esteem.
People who need the approval of others or who live by their image, usually have a low and unstable self-esteem.
The important thing is to know that in our path of self-discovery, whatever type of self-esteem we have at the moment, it depends on us to accept ourselves, to see everything that makes us the wonderful women we are and to value ourselves in the same way to recognize and love ourselves enormously.
- Related article: “How to love yourself? 6 tips for self-love.”