We would like to be able to state that all human beings, to a greater or lesser extent, are on our own quest for love, wanting to find our partner and fall in love. But this is not entirely true, because there are people who are afraid of nothing more and nothing less than love..
Philophobia exists and it is just that, the fear of falling in love.. People who suffer from it can feel all the symptoms that any phobia can produce, but when they feel that they are finding love, we tell you about it!
- Related article: Fear of commitment: what’s behind it and how to overcome it”.
What is philophobia
Just as it sounds, philophobia is the intense and irrational fear of falling in love and of creating bonds or emotional or emotional ties with the other person. In this sense, it would be easy to say that we all suffer from philophobia to some degree, because falling in love puts us in a vulnerable situation that we can be afraid of and run away from if we don’t feel ready for love. But this has more to do with our degree of emotional maturity and the way we live our feelings.
With philophobia it is different, because those who suffer from it, feel all the symptoms that a phobia brings with it when being exposed or linked to an amorous situation.. Phobias generate in us such an intense fear or dread that, when we find ourselves in front of what we are so afraid of, we start up all our defense mechanisms; whether it is a phobia of spiders, airplanes or love as in philophobia, our being reacts in defense of what we fear so much.
This is why falling in love can be for some the most wonderful and joyful experience we can have, but for people with philophobia the experience is totally the opposite, a terrible feeling of discomfort, anxiety and anxiety. of discomfort, anxiety and stress, both emotional and physical..
To such an extent that philophobia can have a very high impact on the social life of the people who suffer from it and on their emotional system, since when it reaches its highest levels, people with philophobia not only avoid loving relationshipsbut also the ties with their family and friends.
- “The 6 types of partners in a relationship and their characteristics”.
Symptoms of people with philophobia
At fear of falling in love and becoming emotionally attached to someone else, the symptoms of people with philophobia have to do with putting up a barrier that separates them from others.The symptoms of people with philophobia have to do with putting up a barrier that separates them from others. In this sense, people with philophobia talk very little about themselves to avoid involvement, try not to show themselves as they really are, live short and uncommitted relationships and in some cases, maintain relationships with several people and at the same time with none. Their emotions go up and down, like a roller coaster.
The symptoms of people with philophobia also present themselves physically, as with other phobias.as with other phobias, and usually occur when they find themselves in front of a person they are physically and emotionally attracted to, as well as when relationships attempt to advance to a higher level of commitment. In these cases, intense sweating, changes in breathing and heartbeat, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal disorders and the common symptoms of a panic attack may appear, together with an intense desire to flee from the situation.
As contradictory as it may sound, what happens with people with philophobia is that, despite their fear of falling in love, they cannot 100% avoid contact with other people, nor can they avoid falling in love at the same time. When this happens, their fear is that their partner will leave themHence their fear of falling in love and the barrier they put up in front of others.
This is why part of their defense mechanisms is to When they feel that the relationship is moving in a more serious directionThey provoke disputes so that the other person ends the relationship and look for endless defects in the other person to justify the impediment they have to go further in their feelings.
How to overcome philophobia
Philophobia can be overcomeBut it depends entirely on you, as a person with philophobia, to put everything on your part to overcome it, because it is a work of your emotional and nervous system that no one can work for you, but to guide you on your way to do it. Start by seeking help, because it is possible to overcome philophobia and live fully something as beautiful as falling in love.
There are different methods of psychological support that can be used to treat philophobia.. Affective desensitization therapy is one of them and it is the one used with different types of phobias. With this type of phobias, your therapist exposes you in a real or virtual way to what you are afraid of, in this case falling in love, until you become desensitized.
You can also opt for a cognitive therapy in which your therapist will guide you to recognize and understand the mental process you are doing to feel that fear.
There are also other methods such as Neurolinguistic programming and other more holistic means to help you put an end to philophobia once and for all.
The important thing is that you ask for help, because any type of phobia and even more with philophobia, you have ties that do not let you live freely and fully happy. Thousands of people have already recovered from philophobia, so don’t be afraid to face it.
- “Romantic love: what is it and why does it so often confuse us?”