Loneliness, feeling alone in the world and isolated from others, is something we can dread.is something we can dread to experience. Humans need to be in society by nature and so we do our best to never experience moments of loneliness.
However, moments of loneliness are not all bad and actually a lot of learning can come out of them, especially the most important one: learning to accompany ourselves..
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Why we fear loneliness
People have been accustomed to living in community since the dawn of civilization. since the beginning of civilizations: it takes two people to procreate and give birth to a baby, which needs its parents to survive until it can make it on its own. But in addition, this family is accompanied by other families that live in society to take care of each other: some hunt, others cook, others protect, others heal… And with this model we have evolved until today.
It is more than normal that we are afraid of loneliness, because after all, under this model in which we grow up, we are afraid of loneliness, under this model in which we grow up, company is synonymous with protection.And, under this idea, loneliness would be synonymous with helplessness. But in addition to this, there is another reason that adds to the fear of loneliness and it has to do with finding a partner.
Culturally, both men and especially women reach an age where we must find a partner; if we go beyond this time, we begin to despair and can be judged for not finding one. While this has been improving over time, there is some pressure within us to find our partner. pressure within us to find our partner and to avoid being and to avoid being alone at all costs.
This is not to say that these arguments about loneliness are not valid. In the end, as we said at the beginning, we need to live in society, we need to live in societyIt is part of us and there is nothing more beautiful than to live love as a couple and life in community. However, everything depends on the connotation we give to loneliness, the reading we make of it and whether we use it to our advantage or not.
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When we are alone while we are surrounded by people
We fall into the trap of thinking that to live in solitude is to be a hermit in the middle of a forest without contact with anyone else, but the truth is that many people live in solitude while surrounded by people. many people live in solitude when they are surrounded by people.They may have many people around them, but they feel lonelier than ever. This simply shows that loneliness is not measured in the number of people we meet or see every day, but in the quality of the relationships and bonds we create with them.
At this point we can say that it is not in vain that there is the popular saying “better alone than in bad company”, because the truth is that there are people who spend their lives with very few people around them and are extremely happy. That is why it is possible that the loneliness that we see or feel outside, is a loneliness that comes from inside, from within. a loneliness that comes from within, from our inner self, and has to do with fear.It has to do with the fear of being with ourselves.
It is also true that our current society, so connected and documented through social networks, has changed our idea of loneliness for the worse. On the one hand, it is true that we have become more individualistic and spend more time on our cell phones than engaging in real relationships with people. On the other hand, the excess of stimuli about other people’s lives only increases our anxiety, feelings of emptiness, and increase our anxiety, sense of emptiness and loneliness.. This happens mainly because we get away from ourselves by looking at others.
I decide if I feel lonely or if I am lonely.
As we have already mentioned, loneliness is felt and defined according to the perspective with which we see it, so we have to start facing loneliness and decide if we feel lonely or if we are lonely. decide if we feel lonely or if we are lonely, because this changes the narrative radically.because this changes the story radically.
Feeling lonely is to be aware that something is missing in our life. (the emptiness we feel) that we are not giving ourselves and that we are waiting for someone else to come and fill it. Being alone, on the other hand, is knowing that for now there may not be someone in our life as a partner, but that there are other people in our life that make us happy, and especially that we do not need anyone to fill the emptiness; this is the positive side of loneliness.
The issue with the fear of loneliness is that false idea that we have in our head, in which if we don’t have someone by our side we can’t be happy.. Because the truth is that we have everything in us to be the happiest people and, perhaps, at some point share it with someone else.
When we decide to live and enjoy loneliness
Loneliness does not last forever (unless you decide to go live in the middle of the forest), but there are moments of loneliness, because we all have our comings and goings in this life. The truth is that these moments of solitude are beautiful opportunities to learn how to be in our own company to be in our own company, to know ourselves, to trust ourselves and to enjoy how wonderful we are in total freedom.
We are our best friends or worst enemies at the moment of living loneliness. We are the ones who decide if we succumb to fear and despair, or if we take advantage of the situation to connect with who we really are and listen to ourselves. connect with who we really are and listen to ourselves.s.
The truth is that the greatest fear of all people in the face of loneliness is to find ourselves, and finally eliminate all the noise around us to hear what you really think, feel or want. But when this moment comes, dare to talk to yourself and you will see how wonderful it is to know yourself.Spend time with yourself because the more you know yourself, the easier it is to show yourself to the world.
Finally, if you feel lonely, don’t try to hide in others and surround yourself with people so they won’t listen to you. Instead open yourself to be with the people you love, to feel their love and companionshipto feel their love and company to take strength in the moments when we slack a little. After this, fight loneliness by trying to meet new people with an open mind and strengthened self-confidence.
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