Communicating and acting assertively confers many benefits to the one who does it. It is the best way to relate to others in different areas, work, love, family and even in everyday activities.
It is not only a way of saying things, but of living and understanding the world. Assertiveness is the reflection of a healthy self-esteem that knows how to set limits, respects and listens to others.that respects and listens to others. Here are some examples of assertiveness to understand this social skill.
Examples of assertiveness and assertive communication
Assertiveness is an ideal way to relate in a healthy way with others. An assertive person has the ability to express what he/she thinks and feels, without the intention of intentionally hurting others.
This social skill allows to be able to speak bluntly and without avoiding topics for fear of hurting susceptibilities. The assertive person is clear, empathetic, has clear limits and also knows how to communicate a message correctly. To better understand the subject, we give you these 20 examples of assertiveness.
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1. In a meeting at work or among friends…
You are discussing important issues that directly involve you. Someone has a different opinion from yours and you want to express your disagreement…. An assertive phrase to start expressing what you feel without being perceived in an aggressive way is the best option, because in this way you avoid that the interlocutors become defensive: “I understand what you say, but I do not agree”.
This phrase makes it clear that we have paid attention to what is being expressed, but our point of view is different, and it also leaves the door open to talk about what we believe and continue debating.
2. There is some ongoing situation in your relationship that you don’t like.
Perhaps your partner acts in a way that makes you feel bad, but remember that it is best not to assume that your partner knows what is affecting you, nor adopt hostile attitudes pretending that this should make him/her realize it. It is better to express your feelings directlyI’ve been feeling uncomfortable and I’d like to talk about it.
Being assertive implies having the ability to show what we feel without fear of criticism. An assertive person knows that their feelings are valid and that communication could help find a solution to their discomfort.
3. In a work situation, your boss is asking you to make some changes?
But the concepts seem to be confusing or are not being explained clearly. Rather than remain in doubt and move on, the best thing to do is to let him know that you are not clear, without necessarily telling him that he is not explaining things well: “I am not understanding what you are saying, could you explain a little more?
When things are not clear, before reacting defensively or making a point to refute, assertiveness allows us to ask for more information, assertiveness allows us to ask for further explanations that allow us to understand in order to continue the conversation..
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4. You’re at a family gathering and your partner starts to get annoyed?
When you ask him/her what’s going on, he/she starts to complain or get defensive. However, this is not a good time to clarify things, before continuing the discussion it is better to stop it, letting him/her know that it is important and that you are willing to resume the conversation later: “I think we should take more time to talk about this”.
Sometimes discussions or work meetings start to go in places that don’t add up. It’s time to pause for everyone to clarify their ideas, an assertive phrase can help everyone take a breather..
5. In your workplace you have been assigned more work than usual…
While your colleague’s workload has been reduced, without giving you a pay raise. Faced with this, the best thing to do is to speak upto make it known that you realize what is happening and that you ask for the other person’s willingness to resolve it: “I feel that the situation is unfair and I would like to know how we can prevent this from happening”.
An assertive person is not afraid to speak up about what he or she thinks and feels. He/she also puts a proposal or alternative on the table. If the feeling is negative, it is always better to accompany it with an option.
6. In the face of a situation that becomes unfair and incomprehensible?
The best thing to do is to go to the people involved, show your opinions and at the same time demonstrate that you have a proposal to change things. An open mind is also needed to listen to the opinions of others. “I believe that what is happening is not benefiting us and I have a proposal for that to change.”.
As in the previous sentence, there is a proposal, but it does not take into consideration only their feelings, it is expressing that what is happening does not benefit a group of people and therefore shows a collective interest and not only an individual one.
7. If you have received any complaints, comments or opinions that are not pleasant…
Respond to them assertively. Before getting angry or taking a defensive attitude, you should take a minute to analyze what happened and let the other person know that you are willing to analyze what is being said: “I really appreciate your comments, I will take them into account”.
Sometimes it is not pleasant to receive criticism and it may take us a while to digest it, but far from reacting negatively, an assertive attitude thanks and appreciates what was said, an assertive attitude thanks and makes it clear that you will take into account what has been said, without meaning that you will take it away.It does not mean that it will be carried out without prior analysis.
8. In the middle of an argument in the family, the scoldings towards the children begin…
And so do the complaints between spouses. All this may be diverting the subject to less constructive matters and in these cases it is always good to pause first. To bring it up, we can say assertively: “I would like to talk about this.I would like to talk about this some other time”.”.
When the assertive person is the one who needs a pause, he or she is not afraid to ask for it. It is also a firm but polite way of stating that there is no time to talk about the subject at the moment, or that we are not being polite, but that we are willing to return to it later.
9. When you have to debate or discuss an issue with someone with whom you do not agree….
You must be empathetic and let them know that you are making an effort to understand where they are coming from. It is important to start your arguments by letting them know: “I understand your position”.
This is a very concrete example of an assertive sentence. Understanding the other person is a fundamental part of the assertive attitude.. And it is a good way to start expressing our point of view, preceding our open and conciliatory attitude.
10. You are new to an association or study group…
Where you are dealing with an important issue in which everyone should be involved. Far from feeling that you have nothing to say because you are new, if there is something you want to express you should feel confident in doing so. Let it be known that you are aware of your position without being embarrassed.I am not an expert on the subject, but I want to express what I think”.
It is always important to prepare ourselves and know about certain topics in order to make contributions, but the person with an assertive attitude also knows how to recognize his or her shortcomings and still has the confidence to express what he or she feels.
11. You are presenting a transcendent topic to an audience, but….
When you ask them a question related to the topic at hand, no one answers and they don’t even seem interested. Before getting upset and making them feel that they are the ones who are wrong, you can use this assertive phrase: “It seems to me that I am not getting my point across and I would like to explain it better”.
This assertive phrase expresses that you are not blaming others for not understanding, you take responsibility for expressing yourself in a better way and ask for the necessary attention to be able to do so. This is comfortable for the interlocutors and avoids a closed attitude on their part.
12. In your workplace you have been asked to take part in a plan…
To deal with someone who seems to annoy a lot of people. You know that not participating in this plan could make you a target for your peers, but you are not willing to participate, so you can be firm and say: “I am not willing to agree to this, I expect my reasons to be respected”.
Being assertive is knowing how to set limits and know how to say no when necessary.. Without further explanation and perhaps requesting respect only as a form of attention to oneself. In this way it is made clear that our refusal has reasons behind it beyond the whim.
13. If someone has made you an invitation to a party or meeting…
The best thing to do is to be clear and always confirm or decline the invitation with courtesy and gratitude. There is no shame in declining an invitation, on the contrary, you must be willing to be clear: “Thank you for the invitation, but I feel the need to decline it for various reasons”.
Assertive people are not afraid to say no.. However in the awareness of not seeking to hurt others or be empathetic, they know that a “Thank you” is effective to be kind but clear and concrete.
14. When an injustice is being committed in one of your close circles?
It is often difficult to expose the situation for fear of feeling vulnerable, however, it is always important to speak up and be clear and clear. it is always important to speak up and be clearYou can start by saying something like: “I know I have the right to…”.
In the workplace it is essential to be assertive, because on the one hand we must contribute to an appropriate climate but also not allow abuse or injustice towards us. A good way to express any disagreement is to express that we are aware of our rights.
15. A family situation happens that makes you feel uncomfortable and sad.
For example, a divorce is occurring between your parents and although you understand their reasons, their attitudes begin to feel hostile and they seem to ignore that you are in the middle. You can ask them to talk about your emotions by saying, “This is making me feel bad.This is making me feel bad and I feel that something needs to be done to change it”.”.
Assertive people know that no one can read their minds, so they have no problem expressing that they feel bad about something and don’t hide behind hostile attitudes waiting for someone to guess.
16. Your boyfriend/girlfriend has shown a strange attitude…
Especially on certain occasions when it comes to hanging out with your friends. Even though you have asked him/her at the time, they have denied that anything strange was going on. If you continue to feel a strange attitude, the best thing to do is to take some time to talk about it and tell him or herI’ve noticed that this is making you uncomfortable, I want to talk to you about what we can do.
Just as an assertive person knows that he must express his feelings, he also has the sensitivity and empathy to understand the discomfort of others. In a kind way, he/she can open the door to express his/her feelings.
17. You have noticed that there is a problem in your workplace…
…And you have come up with a solution that sounds good, that could put an end to the problem. You should not hesitate to express it openly, find the right moment to ask for an audience and express with determination: “I have a proposal that I would like you to listen to”.
Assertiveness is also about being firm and decisive.. In a clear and concise way you can express ideas without leaving anything hidden or pending. A good way to start is with a sentence similar to this one, which makes it clear that we have something to say.
18. You are the boss in your current job when…
Someone who is part of your team has approached you to make an observation about something that they feel is not working, and they bring a proposal. It seems to you that the proposal is not very feasible.However, the issue was not a simple one, and you were the only person who took the initiative to talk about it. It is important to recognize this fact: “I appreciate your honesty”.
When someone has had the courage to be honest, especially on complex or sensitive issues, but has also done so in an assertive manner, we should be tactful enough to thank them for their honesty.
19. A salesperson comes to offer you a service or product…
That seems to be tailor-made for you, but you are not willing to pay for it at the time. You are sorry that the salesperson has taken the time to analyze your needs and offer you something suitable, but perhaps it is not your time to make the purchase. Don’t be afraid to be clear and ask for some time: “I’m not sure.I’m not sure, may I take some time to think about it?”.
Sometimes we do not have the calm or the time to make decisions. If we are assertive, we will know how to ask for time to analyze things without submitting ourselves to the pressure of having to say something without having thought it through.
20. A co-worker tells you that she disagrees…
About senior colleagues having the best parking spaces and states her reasons for you to join her. However, you think it’s only fair that the people who have been at the workplace the longest should have some benefits as a reward for their loyalty. Don’t be afraid to be honest: “I see the situation differently”.
This example of assertiveness is very clear in terms of the possible meeting of ideas. Whenever there is a debate, assertive attitude and communication allows for a better expression of ideas. This sentence establishes that we assume that we see things differently and not that we think the other is wrong.. There is a subtle but significant difference that takes the direction of the conversation in a more positive direction.