There is a lot of talk about toxic relationships, but what about healthy romantic relationships? Is it enough for a relationship to be non-toxic for it to be healthy?
No; for that, the relationship must have a number of “extra” characteristics, although logically these may vary slightly for each couple.
How do we know if we are in a healthy relationship? Do you sometimes feel things that do not fit into the relationship and have doubts? In this article we propose 12 keys to know if you are in a healthy relationshipalthough there are many more.
What is a healthy relationship and what is a toxic relationship?
Before discussing the 12 keys to know if you have a healthy relationship, let’s briefly explain what a healthy relationship is and when it is unhealthy.. We could say that the opposite extreme would be a toxic relationship.
Fundamentally, a relationship is healthy when it makes us feel good and improves our life. It is as simple as: the relationship makes us happy, and we are happier than being alone.
On the other hand, a toxic relationship is one that makes us suffer and yet we feel unable to leave it.. In this second case, we are not in line with what we really want, and there is something “in there” that knows it.
12 keys to healthy relationships
Now that we have done the little nuance to differentiate a healthy relationship from a toxic relationship, let’s learn 12 keys to know if you have a healthy and constructive relationship. and constructive relationship.
1. You are happy in the relationship
The first of the 12 keys to know if you have a healthy relationship is to ask yourself: Are you happy in this relationship? Obviously, there will always be obstacles, difficulties and problems at some point or another in the relationship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy in it.
So, if the answer to this question (just like that, without thinking too much) is yes, it is a good indication that the relationship is healthy.
2. You feel in harmony
When we are in a relationship that is healthy for our physical and mental health, we are in harmony within the relationship, we are in harmony within the relationship (at times when we are with our partner and at times when we are without). That is to say, we feel calm, at peace, and we feel that this relationship and what we feel in it are in harmony or coherent with what we desire.
3. You are not dependent on the other person
There is always a certain degree of dependence in romantic relationships.But be careful, a healthy dependence is not the same as a toxic dependence (and in between these two extremes, there are also degrees).
Thus, it is normal that there is a small dependence in the couple that, on the other hand, “enables” the relationship, since it is based on a commitment and a connection between two people who have decided to be together.
However, if we cannot do anything without the other person, we are not in a healthy relationship. On the other hand, if we feel free and independent to do whatever we want without the need to do it with the other person, that is one of the keys to know if you have a healthy relationship.
4. Jealousy has no protagonism
Jealousy hides a low self-esteem and insecurity in the person who suffers from it. It is not true that “if he is jealous it is because he loves me”; the most appropriate phrase that would reflect a healthy sentimental relationship would be “if he does not want to lose me but still knows that I am not in his possession, it means that he loves me”.
5. You do not suffer
Closely related to the previous keys to know if you have a healthy romantic relationship, we find this one: the relationship does not generate suffering. This means that, in general, you are calm in the relationship, and that there are no behaviors of the other person (or problems within the relationship) that generate excessive anxiety or discomfort (except at specific times).
6. You feel reciprocated
Another key is the following: you love the other person very much and you feel that this love is reciprocal, i.e. reciprocated.. You do not feel that you are more in love than the other person, or if you feel it, it is only in specific moments that do not transcend.
7. You feel that you both contribute to the relationship.
The next key to knowing if you are in a healthy relationship is to feel that both partners contribute to the relationship and that there is no imbalance.and that there is no imbalance. This does not mean that there are not times when one partner contributes more, or gives more, or is more involved, but that, in general, both parties contribute.
8. You dedicate time to other things
If in addition to dedicating time to the relationship, you dedicate time to other things in your life, it is a sign that you are in a healthy relationship.
Thus, devoting time to family, friends, work, hobbies, studies, etc., beyond the couple, indicates that your relationship is healthy, since it can be nourished by other facets of your life. Imagine just being with your partner all day long…. do you think you could contribute something to each other?
9. The relationship is based on trust
Another key to know if you have a healthy relationship is to answer the following two questions: Do you trust your partner and does your partner trust you? If the answers are affirmative, it is another sign that shows that the relationship is healthy. Trust is one of the pillars of romantic relationships, which allows you to act freely and respectfully towards each other.
10. You are sincere with each other (or with each other).
Sincerity, along with trust and other values, are part of healthy romantic relationships.. If you do not lie to your partner on important issues, nor he/she to you, it means that you can be at ease with the other person, since he/she does not hide anything from you and trusts you to solve possible problems that may arise.
11. Communication is fluid and respectful
Communication is a fundamental factor in a couple’s relationship, as well as another of the keys to know if you have a healthy sentimental relationship; through it we express our desires to our partner, but also our fears and our doubts.
If this communication does not exist within the relationship, it can happen that important issues are left unaddressed, It is also essential that this communication be fluid and respectful.. How we communicate with our partner reflects how our relationship is.
12. There is mutual respect
Beyond communication, our behavior with our partner should also be based on respect.. Thus, in addition to verbally addressing our partner with respect, we must also treat her well in every way (and she us). In this way, respect becomes another key to know if you have a healthy relationship.